Today I have been tired to the bone. I didn't sleep well, probably because I didn't rest enough yesterday. Don't get me wrong: I didn't actually accomplish anything yesterday, but I didn't really lay down and sleep. Then last night I was tender and ached all over, couldn't get comfortable, had nasty dreams when I did sleep, and got up this morning more tired than when I went to bed last night. So I conducted a forced march for 45 minutes this morning without enjoying it. I listened to good music with uplifting words, and read scripture, and tried to get my focus where it needed to be, despite how tired of the struggle I was feeling. I showered, and headed off to treatment especially thankful that My Gal Thursday was driving so I could rest to Santa Fe and back. And after lunch, I headed to my comfy chair with a book, ready to fall asleep reading.
The book I took with me to my comfy chair was Suffering and the Sovereignty of God. David Powlison, in his chapter, "God's Grace and Your Suffering", said this profound thing:
How does God's grace meet you in your suffering? We can make the right answer sound old hat, but I guarantee this: God will surprise you. He will make you stop. You will struggle. he will bring you up short. You will hurt. He will take his time. You will grow in faith and in love. He will deeply delight you. Yu will find the process harder than you ever imagined--and better. Goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life (Psalm 23:6). No matter how many times you've heard it, no matter how long you've known it, no matter how well you can say it, God's answer will come to mean something better than you could ever imagine.
As I dozed off to sleep contemplating this, I kept coming back to the idea of delighting in God. And it occurred to me in a flash that as God makes us more and more into the image of His Son through our suffering, He not only gives us delight in Him, but He delights in us. This Sovereign God not only allows me to delight in Him, but He chooses to delight in me. So when I am bone tired and dragging, the Sovereign of the universe delights in me, not because I deserve it, or because I've gotten anything at all done (or nothing at all done) but because He chose to make me into the likeness of His Son, and he chose me to delight in me. That is soothing salve for my weary bones.
1 comment:
Ahhh! His delight-it's one of the things that I've been mulling over and finding that I want to be my main motivation. It has the effect of being both energizing and comforting at the same time. It sets me free to delight in Him, His work, His word, His world and His people.
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