The vapours of my unbelieving heart

It is not the distance of the earth from the sun, nor the sun's withdrawing itself, that makes a dark and gloomy day; but the interposition of clouds and vaporous exhalations. Neither is thy soul beyond the reach of the promise, nor does God withdraw Himself; but the vapours of thy carnal, unbelieving heart do cloud thee.
~John Owen


Tim Challies has an excellent post this morning dealing with sin. He begins with a funny Bob Newhart clip, and moves on to make his point--a point I am too hesitant to embrace because it exposes me: I hate my sin, but just a little bit less than I love it. I highly recommend taking a few minutes to read it.

I have been blessed with godly friends and a godly husband who are willing to risk my wrath and tell me when I am loving my sin. I am so grateful for their interposition between me and my love of my sin. But they do not exist in the depths of my heart, where the worst of my sin resides, far from the light of day and the possibility of rebuke. Do I love Christ enough to turn from those other things? I look forward to heaven, where that will be the case. But in the here and now, as I mount the battles, or turn deserter, the depth of my own sin drives me in ways that I somehow never dream possible in my self-deception.

USA Today ran an interesting Easter piece last week that dealt with the popular notion of sin. I can fall prey to the same tendencies to leave "sin" in the theoretical realm rather than see it as an issue of my own heart. May the Lord deliver me from such temptations!

Thou righteous and holy sovereign,
in whose hand is my life and whose are all my ways,
keep me from fluttering about religion;
fix me in it,
for I am irresolute;
my decisions are smoke and vapour,
and I do not glorify thee,
or behave according to they will;
Cut me off before my thoughts grow to responses,
and the budding of my soul into full flower,
for thou are forbearing and good,
patient and kind.
Save me from myself,
from the artifices and deceits of sin,
from the treachery of my perverse nature,
from denying the charge against my offenses,
from a life of continual rebellion against thee,
from wrong principles, views and ends;
for I know that all my thoughts, affections, desires and pursuits are alienated from thee.
I have acted as if I hated thee, although thou are love itself;
have contrived to tempt thee to the uttermost,
to wear out thy patience;
have lived evilly in word and action.
Had I been a prince I would have long ago crushed such a rebel;
Had I been a father I would long since have rejected my child.
O, thou Father of my spirit,
thou king of my life,
cast me not into destruction,
drive me not from thy presence,
but wound my heart that it may be healed;
break it that thine own hand may make it whole.
~The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions